Sunday, May 17, 2009
There comes a time when you look back into your life and think omfg so much has happened already.After tonight it seems to me that day has arrived.I duno why but i think i need to start reflecting on my life.Maybe the first question i have to ask myself is, " what the hell to do i want to achieve in life !!? " It might sound cynical to you now but definitely not to me.
In a blink of an eye, bamm! and im in year 3 already. I still can remember the day i collected my O level results so vividly.Oh hell yes i criedd.That i remember so darn clearly.Was getting 24points a blessing in disguise instead?? Was coming to RP a mistake? I certainly do not think so. Looking at things from a different perspective, i think i might have screwed up even more badly at other polys.Just look at my good pals in NP. Not so good afteralll huh!! lol. But suree I'm stil surviving only just with average grades, trying to get past each day asap.blah blah blah. Final year projects are being a pain in the ass =( Will i be aiming for a university admission?? God knows.Seems to me now like i really do not want to continue studying anymore.Make me.
And then we have the relationships and bonds. To me your friends, family , the people around you are the reason you even want to live. I guess i can take this chance to apologise to anyone out there whom i have purposely or unknowingly hurt.Sorry ahhh :) What do i want to achieve for my relationships?? Hmmm , lets just say i wanna be a good friend to anyone i know and to make people smile! That would be nice. Most importantly, i will aim to be a good son for my parents.They have raised me up well, glad i havent been thrown out of the house yet!! haha.
Wealth.mmm fcuk that.ahhah. I wouldnt say that i'm super poor but then i would say that alittle more of it could help really well.heh.Sooo i just gotta be happy of what i've got so far.Fullstop.* although i have been dreaming of driving fancy cars and buying everything in the world :P
And for the main course.. I present you -- my love for bowling!! I could really talk about this all night and yeahh this has been bothering me for the last 7years or so. I need to get something off my chest or else i'll explode anytime.May i begin? ----- WHY THE FCUK HAVE I NOT WON ANYTHING!?!? WHY THE FCUK DO I TRAIN SO HARD BUT FCUK UP EACH TIME!?!? DO I SUCK SO MUCHH?? I THINK I DO.YES I DO.FCUK I SUCK.I SUCKKKKKKKK.FCUKKKKK. The biggest passion i have for anything but yet i worry the most.Why is it so unfair too? I really wanna do well but it seems that i disappoint time after time.FOR 7YEARS OF LIFE.For 7years i have been trying and trying and trying. What do i get?? fcuking nothingg.Maybe it's time to hang up my boots.maybe i could really try to concentrate on my studies more.maybe its time for me to say i've done enough.Is this what i want?? Fcuk no! I wanna fufill my aspirations, i wanna prove to those beetches that im not that useless! but wtf is stopping me? I really have no clue.Sorry for the harshness but i had my say. sighhh.
Friday, May 8, 2009
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